Hello everyone! I wanted to share my story and some details. I was kind of
hesitating to you know make a video, but you know what
I thought maybe I should do that, because few people thought maybe
you know this
maybe I'm not a real person, some people thought there was some Jewish
conspiracy going on and you know all sorts of ideas out there. So I wanted to make a
video to show that I am a real person. You know, I was born.. I was born into
a Ismaili family, my dad is a Ismaili; my mom is Sunni and I was raised as an Ismaili and
around the age of maybe 18 or so in highschool I found Islam. Some of my
friends invited me to read the Quran and I started reading it. I started praying you
know what was called namaz or Salah and...and I got really excited I found the Quran
and I got really excited about it. I really liked it and I said, hey this is
God's message to me. I didn't look into it too critically, I felt like you know I
looked into a little bit about the religions and stuff and I felt it's just
instinctive, and I felt like this is something, you know, good; something I want
to follow God's message and I started praying five times a day and you know
eventually I took a deep dive into Islam. I started following it with all my heart and
mind, you know. Within like a few days, after that I started University and then
I got married and then you know... what else and I started working. So when I was
working I tried my best to implement Islam, you know, I would pray even at the
office; I would find the stairwell; I would go and pray wherever I could you
know and I would get, if I had a prayer room you know I would invite other
people to come pray with me and even university you know in the middle of
exams I would stop to pray. I would ask them can I please get up, I need to say my
prayers for Maghrib (sunset prayer) especially. And yeah I was following it to the best of my
ability, to be honest. I sincerely believed in Islam. I used to give out some
DVDs and I made some DVDs of my own with some Islamic videos. I used to go from
mosque to mosque videotaping lectures and at conferences and.. and I wanted to
promote it because I felt truly in my heart this was the true religion I
wanted people to go Jannah (paradise), I wanted Allah to be pleased with me and you know I
wanted to follow the prophet and so that's what I did! I created a website:
lightuponlight.com and you know eventually another one was versebyversequran.com too to
promote Islam because I believed in it
and there's still a bunch of videos on there, if you go and see of that I videotaped
myself.. Some of the lectures and some of the other ones I got permission from
others to put online so that's..that's what I was doing and when I started
working you know, I would avoid jobs that were involved with riba (usury/interest) you know
anything to do with the bank.
I wouldn't work for any banks whatsoever, I wouldn't work in the media industry
like television or music.
Personally I would avoid listening to.. I wouldn't listen to music, I wouldn't
let my kids listen to music. I've even put my kids in Islamic school, you know for as much
as I could afford it, even though it was expensive here in Canada. But I mean
that's what you do, right? If you are a Muslim and you truly believe in all your heart as
well you know I used to rent, I didn't have a mortgage because I believed in it. Now,
you know the came a point in my life where I started having a little bit out of doubt here and there.
Small doubts and eventually you know I was at one year.. two years ago, I had
some doubts, I was discussing with a friend online and he mentioned that a
lot of the stories in the Quran actually come from Jewish folk tales. I was very
surprised about that like Jewish folk tales. I said no no you mean it came from
the Bible or the Hebrew Torah and when I looked into it I found out that actually
a lot of the stories that from the Talmud which is actually the Jewish
commentary and the Jewish stories and basically the rabbis you know
commentary of the.. of the traditions and so it doesn't let them have a divine
origin and you know I also had a big problem with the story of Dhul Qarnayn you
know, this..this tribe of how Dhul Qarnayn, he trapped this tribe of people
Yajuj and Majuj, Gog and Magog behind a giant gate built of copper
and iron and and I was wondering where is this place. How come we can't find it
you know we have Google Earth and all that and how come we can't find it. So that was
another doubt and actually I believe left Islam for one day.
But then I decided you know what I'm gonna put my doubts aside you know I'm
Muslim,
I want to go to Jannah (Paradise), I want to believe in Allah and I became Muslim for one more year.
And then last year, so one year ago is when I truly, actually when I truly left
Islam for good.
I was in a Ramadan and it was out there at a pre-iftar halaqah (lecture) and the
Sheikh was saying you know Allah holds up the sky without any pillars and this
brought back on my doubts about you know, if the Quran is truly from the God,
the creator of the universe that you know the one that knows all
things.
Why is describing the world in a way that you know was the seventh century
understanding of the world. Like the sky doesn't have, okay we know this sky
doesn't have any pillars that you can see.. but there's no need for pillars
like we're just a ball in the space. Sky is just this.. just emptiness, it's just
emptiness of space so there's no, there's no need for any pillars visible or
invisible and you know there's many things like that like the the orbit of
the Sun and the Moon. Why Allah describes an orbit of the Sun and
the moon. Like we know the orbit of the Moon is around the Earth.. that makes
sense, but the orbit of the Sun.. like what orbit would that be?
You know I looked into this I found well there is an orbit it's 300 million year
orbit. Of the sun around the Milky way galaxy which has nothing to do with
humanity whatsoever because it's completely useless but of course at that
time you know the Muslims who would have thought that this.. this orbit is a is
orbit of the Sun around Earth and even Sahih (Authentic) Hadid, Prophet Muhammad he asked his
companions do you know where the Sun goes at the time of Maghrib and
they said you know Allah knows best and his messenger knows best and he said it
goes beneath the throne of Allah. Now we know that the Sun is actually still
there and it's actually the Earth that's going around the Sun. So you know this
one and many other things they didn't add up to me that the creator of
the universe is making these mistakes.
Or describing it in a way that doesn't make any sense today.
Now based on our new information.. A nd it made me wonder, is it truly Allah the
creator or is it just coming from a man that lived in the seventh century that
believed these things and was was basically writing them as he went. And so
you know, the stories in the Quran like like I said Dhul Qarnayn you know
where is Gog and Magog (Yajuj and Majuj). There's this supposed to be you know
millions and millions of them stuck behind this dam, we haven't found any
such giant gate any
where in the world I mean even some of the..I think it was Omar who went to look for it
and they didn't find it .I mean it doesn't make any sense right.. And so these
things my doubts began to grow and grow and eventually I got to the point where
I said this can be from God. I don't believe in this anymore and because my
doubt became more than my certainty and when I started to look into each one of
the claims in the Quran that the Quran is actually from
God, like embryology, and the mountains and all of these things including the
language I found they just fell down flat. Like for example you know
embryology, you know all you have to do is look into these things in detail to
see how people...misrepresented Quran to be a scientific thing when actually
it's not you know. These..these stories were meant to be like you know kind of
to bring you to remember God and to say look how amazing it is
that you know the the embryo how it grows. It wasn't meant to be you know
scientifically accurate when you look into it you'll find it's actually the
idea is flawed. And same thing with the stories in the Quran you know like if
they were true stories why is it that we're finding trouble you know
verifying these facts. I'll make another video about Dhul Qarnayn in the future. It's
a longer topic but in summary. I just don't believe that there's any
possibility that this actually came from a divine being, this book, the Quran and
when you look into it you'll find many things that don't add up
and this is why I had to eventually leave Islam despite all the investment I
put into it you know emotional investment, and you know my personality,
my friends you know everything was Islam to me. So this was a huge loss you know
losing God and some people want to know what I believe now. I personally don't
believe there's any God so I'm atheist but you know if someone would ask well
where did everything come from, I would say I'm still I'm still learning and I don't
think we have all the answers but it is possible, there is a force you know
outside of the universe.
I don't know if you wouldn't call it necessarily God, you could call it God but
you know, a force, a power, a being that made everything.. that made everything
into what it is but this.. this being from what I can tell you know either does not
care about us or does not know about us, is not interested in us. You know it doesn't
answer dua (prayers) ..doesn't like if you just look at the state of the world today
all the suffering and all the pain, it does not look like there's any God out
there, that cares for us, that is looking out for us and in fact that's what I believe that
if there is a creator, either he doesn't know about us or he doesn't care about
us and he's just letting all these things happen and which is why I'm.. I'm.. I'm an
atheist because.. because I don't believe that the..that there is a God but if there is a
creator out there I mean maybe he has no personality, maybe it's just like a force
or power
you know...