1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,400 Hello everyone! I wanted to share my story and some details. I was kind of 2 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:08,760 hesitating to you know make a video, but you know what 3 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:12,780 I thought maybe I should do that, because few people thought maybe 4 00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:14,099 you know this 5 00:00:14,099 --> 00:00:17,369 maybe I'm not a real person, some people thought there was some Jewish 6 00:00:17,369 --> 00:00:22,260 conspiracy going on and you know all sorts of ideas out there. So I wanted to make a 7 00:00:22,260 --> 00:00:27,000 video to show that I am a real person. You know, I was born.. I was born into 8 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:32,340 a Ismaili family, my dad is a Ismaili; my mom is Sunni and I was raised as an Ismaili and 9 00:00:32,340 --> 00:00:37,050 around the age of maybe 18 or so in highschool I found Islam. Some of my 10 00:00:37,050 --> 00:00:41,370 friends invited me to read the Quran and I started reading it. I started praying you 11 00:00:41,370 --> 00:00:46,710 know what was called namaz or Salah and...and I got really excited I found the Quran 12 00:00:46,710 --> 00:00:51,570 and I got really excited about it. I really liked it and I said, hey this is 13 00:00:51,570 --> 00:00:55,860 God's message to me. I didn't look into it too critically, I felt like you know I 14 00:00:55,860 --> 00:00:58,800 looked into a little bit about the religions and stuff and I felt it's just 15 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:02,460 instinctive, and I felt like this is something, you know, good; something I want 16 00:01:02,460 --> 00:01:06,840 to follow God's message and I started praying five times a day and you know 17 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:10,140 eventually I took a deep dive into Islam. I started following it with all my heart and 18 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:16,590 mind, you know. Within like a few days, after that I started University and then 19 00:01:16,590 --> 00:01:21,509 I got married and then you know... what else and I started working. So when I was 20 00:01:21,509 --> 00:01:25,140 working I tried my best to implement Islam, you know, I would pray even at the 21 00:01:25,140 --> 00:01:28,860 office; I would find the stairwell; I would go and pray wherever I could you 22 00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:31,740 know and I would get, if I had a prayer room you know I would invite other 23 00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:35,400 people to come pray with me and even university you know in the middle of 24 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,729 exams I would stop to pray. I would ask them can I please get up, I need to say my 25 00:01:38,729 --> 00:01:42,570 prayers for Maghrib (sunset prayer) especially. And yeah I was following it to the best of my 26 00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:46,799 ability, to be honest. I sincerely believed in Islam. I used to give out some 27 00:01:46,799 --> 00:01:51,060 DVDs and I made some DVDs of my own with some Islamic videos. I used to go from 28 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:56,490 mosque to mosque videotaping lectures and at conferences and.. and I wanted to 29 00:01:56,490 --> 00:02:00,000 promote it because I felt truly in my heart this was the true religion I 30 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,600 wanted people to go Jannah (paradise), I wanted Allah to be pleased with me and you know I 31 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:07,649 wanted to follow the prophet and so that's what I did! I created a website: 32 00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:11,970 lightuponlight.com and you know eventually another one was versebyversequran.com too to 33 00:02:11,970 --> 00:02:13,800 promote Islam because I believed in it 34 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:20,100 and there's still a bunch of videos on there, if you go and see of that I videotaped 35 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:23,010 myself.. Some of the lectures and some of the other ones I got permission from 36 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:29,310 others to put online so that's..that's what I was doing and when I started 37 00:02:29,310 --> 00:02:33,060 working you know, I would avoid jobs that were involved with riba (usury/interest) you know 38 00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:34,560 anything to do with the bank. 39 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,410 I wouldn't work for any banks whatsoever, I wouldn't work in the media industry 40 00:02:37,410 --> 00:02:40,200 like television or music. 41 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,900 Personally I would avoid listening to.. I wouldn't listen to music, I wouldn't 42 00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:47,880 let my kids listen to music. I've even put my kids in Islamic school, you know for as much 43 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,630 as I could afford it, even though it was expensive here in Canada. But I mean 44 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:55,080 that's what you do, right? If you are a Muslim and you truly believe in all your heart as 45 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:59,250 well you know I used to rent, I didn't have a mortgage because I believed in it. Now, 46 00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:03,720 you know the came a point in my life where I started having a little bit out of doubt here and there. 47 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:11,070 Small doubts and eventually you know I was at one year.. two years ago, I had 48 00:03:11,070 --> 00:03:14,340 some doubts, I was discussing with a friend online and he mentioned that a 49 00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:17,940 lot of the stories in the Quran actually come from Jewish folk tales. I was very 50 00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:22,320 surprised about that like Jewish folk tales. I said no no you mean it came from 51 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:26,670 the Bible or the Hebrew Torah and when I looked into it I found out that actually 52 00:03:26,670 --> 00:03:29,700 a lot of the stories that from the Talmud which is actually the Jewish 53 00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:33,630 commentary and the Jewish stories and basically the rabbis you know 54 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:39,750 commentary of the.. of the traditions and so it doesn't let them have a divine 55 00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:43,620 origin and you know I also had a big problem with the story of Dhul Qarnayn you 56 00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:48,870 know, this..this tribe of how Dhul Qarnayn, he trapped this tribe of people 57 00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:54,780 Yajuj and Majuj, Gog and Magog behind a giant gate built of copper 58 00:03:54,780 --> 00:03:59,610 and iron and and I was wondering where is this place. How come we can't find it 59 00:03:59,610 --> 00:04:04,020 you know we have Google Earth and all that and how come we can't find it. So that was 60 00:04:04,020 --> 00:04:07,020 another doubt and actually I believe left Islam for one day. 61 00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:11,330 But then I decided you know what I'm gonna put my doubts aside you know I'm 62 00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:11,840 Muslim, 63 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,750 I want to go to Jannah (Paradise), I want to believe in Allah and I became Muslim for one more year. 64 00:04:14,750 --> 00:04:20,389 And then last year, so one year ago is when I truly, actually when I truly left 65 00:04:20,389 --> 00:04:21,799 Islam for good. 66 00:04:21,799 --> 00:04:28,460 I was in a Ramadan and it was out there at a pre-iftar halaqah (lecture) and the 67 00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:32,210 Sheikh was saying you know Allah holds up the sky without any pillars and this 68 00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:35,990 brought back on my doubts about you know, if the Quran is truly from the God, 69 00:04:35,990 --> 00:04:39,020 the creator of the universe that you know the one that knows all 70 00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:39,889 things. 71 00:04:39,889 --> 00:04:44,360 Why is describing the world in a way that you know was the seventh century 72 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,960 understanding of the world. Like the sky doesn't have, okay we know this sky 73 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:51,800 doesn't have any pillars that you can see.. but there's no need for pillars 74 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:56,480 like we're just a ball in the space. Sky is just this.. just emptiness, it's just 75 00:04:56,480 --> 00:05:00,650 emptiness of space so there's no, there's no need for any pillars visible or 76 00:05:00,650 --> 00:05:04,430 invisible and you know there's many things like that like the the orbit of 77 00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:08,330 the Sun and the Moon. Why Allah describes an orbit of the Sun and 78 00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:11,360 the moon. Like we know the orbit of the Moon is around the Earth.. that makes 79 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,570 sense, but the orbit of the Sun.. like what orbit would that be? 80 00:05:14,570 --> 00:05:18,260 You know I looked into this I found well there is an orbit it's 300 million year 81 00:05:18,260 --> 00:05:22,400 orbit. Of the sun around the Milky way galaxy which has nothing to do with 82 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:26,270 humanity whatsoever because it's completely useless but of course at that 83 00:05:26,270 --> 00:05:31,400 time you know the Muslims who would have thought that this.. this orbit is a is 84 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:35,780 orbit of the Sun around Earth and even Sahih (Authentic) Hadid, Prophet Muhammad he asked his 85 00:05:35,780 --> 00:05:39,530 companions do you know where the Sun goes at the time of Maghrib and 86 00:05:39,530 --> 00:05:42,530 they said you know Allah knows best and his messenger knows best and he said it 87 00:05:42,530 --> 00:05:45,919 goes beneath the throne of Allah. Now we know that the Sun is actually still 88 00:05:45,919 --> 00:05:49,310 there and it's actually the Earth that's going around the Sun. So you know this 89 00:05:49,310 --> 00:05:52,850 one and many other things they didn't add up to me that the creator of 90 00:05:52,850 --> 00:05:55,039 the universe is making these mistakes. 91 00:05:55,039 --> 00:05:58,280 Or describing it in a way that doesn't make any sense today. 92 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:02,240 Now based on our new information.. A nd it made me wonder, is it truly Allah the 93 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:05,600 creator or is it just coming from a man that lived in the seventh century that 94 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:10,160 believed these things and was was basically writing them as he went. And so 95 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,880 you know, the stories in the Quran like like I said Dhul Qarnayn you know 96 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:17,360 where is Gog and Magog (Yajuj and Majuj). There's this supposed to be you know 97 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,659 millions and millions of them stuck behind this dam, we haven't found any 98 00:06:20,659 --> 00:06:21,680 such giant gate any 99 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:25,460 where in the world I mean even some of the..I think it was Omar who went to look for it 100 00:06:25,460 --> 00:06:30,470 and they didn't find it .I mean it doesn't make any sense right.. And so these 101 00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:34,759 things my doubts began to grow and grow and eventually I got to the point where 102 00:06:34,759 --> 00:06:38,449 I said this can be from God. I don't believe in this anymore and because my 103 00:06:38,449 --> 00:06:41,870 doubt became more than my certainty and when I started to look into each one of 104 00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:45,680 the claims in the Quran that the Quran is actually from 105 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,789 God, like embryology, and the mountains and all of these things including the 106 00:06:49,789 --> 00:06:53,509 language I found they just fell down flat. Like for example you know 107 00:06:53,509 --> 00:06:57,979 embryology, you know all you have to do is look into these things in detail to 108 00:06:57,979 --> 00:07:02,750 see how people...misrepresented Quran to be a scientific thing when actually 109 00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:06,919 it's not you know. These..these stories were meant to be like you know kind of 110 00:07:06,919 --> 00:07:10,400 to bring you to remember God and to say look how amazing it is 111 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:14,389 that you know the the embryo how it grows. It wasn't meant to be you know 112 00:07:14,389 --> 00:07:17,120 scientifically accurate when you look into it you'll find it's actually the 113 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:20,990 idea is flawed. And same thing with the stories in the Quran you know like if 114 00:07:20,990 --> 00:07:24,919 they were true stories why is it that we're finding trouble you know 115 00:07:24,919 --> 00:07:28,970 verifying these facts. I'll make another video about Dhul Qarnayn in the future. It's 116 00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:35,030 a longer topic but in summary. I just don't believe that there's any 117 00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:40,070 possibility that this actually came from a divine being, this book, the Quran and 118 00:07:40,070 --> 00:07:43,550 when you look into it you'll find many things that don't add up 119 00:07:44,150 --> 00:07:47,810 and this is why I had to eventually leave Islam despite all the investment I 120 00:07:47,810 --> 00:07:52,070 put into it you know emotional investment, and you know my personality, 121 00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:57,530 my friends you know everything was Islam to me. So this was a huge loss you know 122 00:07:57,530 --> 00:08:01,400 losing God and some people want to know what I believe now. I personally don't 123 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:05,570 believe there's any God so I'm atheist but you know if someone would ask well 124 00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:10,460 where did everything come from, I would say I'm still I'm still learning and I don't 125 00:08:10,460 --> 00:08:13,909 think we have all the answers but it is possible, there is a force you know 126 00:08:13,909 --> 00:08:15,680 outside of the universe. 127 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,740 I don't know if you wouldn't call it necessarily God, you could call it God but 128 00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:23,060 you know, a force, a power, a being that made everything.. that made everything 129 00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:26,750 into what it is but this.. this being from what I can tell you know either does not 130 00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:30,289 care about us or does not know about us, is not interested in us. You know it doesn't 131 00:08:30,289 --> 00:08:33,380 answer dua (prayers) ..doesn't like if you just look at the state of the world today 132 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:37,270 all the suffering and all the pain, it does not look like there's any God out 133 00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:40,870 there, that cares for us, that is looking out for us and in fact that's what I believe that 134 00:08:40,870 --> 00:08:44,050 if there is a creator, either he doesn't know about us or he doesn't care about 135 00:08:44,050 --> 00:08:47,680 us and he's just letting all these things happen and which is why I'm.. I'm.. I'm an 136 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:51,790 atheist because.. because I don't believe that the..that there is a God but if there is a 137 00:08:51,790 --> 00:08:55,839 creator out there I mean maybe he has no personality, maybe it's just like a force 138 00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:56,650 or power 139 00:08:56,650 --> 00:08:57,339 you know...